【Poor Things】

Mark Zuckerberg had Jack Dorsey over for dinner and Poor Thingsit was somehow even more weird than you might expect.

When asked about his most "memorable encounter" with Zuckerberg, Dorsey revealed that not only did Zuckerberg once invite him over for an (undercooked) goat dinner, it was a goat the Facebook CEO killed himself... with a knife and some kind of taser.

Speaking to Rolling Stone, the Twitter founder and CEO recounted the strange, strange tale :

What was your most memorable encounter with Zuckerberg?Well, there was a year when he was only eating what he was killing. He made goat for me for dinner. He killed the goat.

In front of you?No. He killed it before. I guess he kills it. He kills it with a laser gun and then the knife. Then they send it to the butcher.

A . . . laser gun?I don’t know. A stun gun. They stun it, and then he knifed it. Then they send it to a butcher. Evidently in Palo Alto there’s a rule or regulation that you can have six livestock on any lot of land, so he had six goats at the time. I go, “We’re eating the goat you killed?” He said, “Yeah.” I said, “Have you eaten goat before?” He’s like, “Yeah, I love it.” I’m like, “What else are we having?” “Salad.” I said, “Where is the goat?” “It’s in the oven.” Then we waited for about 30 minutes. He’s like, “I think it’s done now.” We go in the dining room. He puts the goat down. It was cold. That was memorable. I don’t know if it went back in the oven. I just ate my salad.

It’s hard to find a metaphor in that.I don’t know what you’re going to do with that, but hopefully that’s not the headline. Revenge is a dish best served warm. Or cold.

Honestly, there's so much to unpack here, it's hard to know where to begin. Not only did Zuck kill a goat from is own personal livestock supply, he stunned the animal with some kind of laser/stun gun before "he knifed it." Thenhe served it to Dorsey cold, with a side salad.

Just, wow.

Dorsey didn't say when this extraordinary encounter happened, but he appears to be referring to Zuckerberg's "personal challenge" for 2011, when the Facebook CEO vowed to only eat animals he had killed himself.

At the time, Zuckerberg said the decision forced him to "basically become a vegetarian," though he acknowledged killing and eating several animals himself, including a lobster, pig, bison, and, yes, goats.

Zuckerberg's culinary skills weren't the only shade the Twitter CEO threw at his Facebook counterpart. When asked for his thoughts on Facebook, Dorsey also stated he didn't understand Mark Zuckerberg's philosophy. "I just don’t know what his philosophies are. I don’t know what their purpose is," he said, referring to Facebook.

"I see Mark as a very, very smart businessman. He will excel to gain as much market share as possible."

You can read Rolling Stone's full interview here.

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