【Russia】

Every day we stray further from God's light. Case in point: it appears that,Russia on this cursed Earth, there are more than zero dogs named Bitcoin.

Yes, for some reason, real humans have looked into a dog's beautiful, loving eyes and thought, "This dog should be named Bitcoin." We don't know why and we certainly can't stop it -- all we can do is let you know and hope that this idea doesn't become a trend.

Here's one dog named Bitcoin, a Maltese puppy who has a very pleasant Instagram presence. Luckily, Bitcoin seems to be interested in cryptocurrency (judging by her captions, anyway), so perhaps the name is a good fit.

Here she is with a toy shaped like a dollar sign.

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On Twitter, there are even more reports of dogs named Bitcoin. One user alleges that her grandfather named his new dog Bitcoin, a choice that is confusing but not necessarily surprising considering the current state of the world (shambles).

Will the name spike in popularity as the cryptocurrency era rages on?

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Another person reported last year that his cousin named a dog "Biggie Bitcoin." I am not sure this counts, as the dog is probably referred to as "Biggie," but it seemed too wild to omit.

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If you're in NYC, though, feel free to retain your moral superiority a little longer -- at least as it relates to dog names. According to the NYC dog name map -- one of the best things to ever be online -- there are 0 dogs named Bitcoin currently registered in New York City. Same goes for these other crypto-related terms: Ethereum, Crypto, Litecoin, Dogecoin, and Blockchain. There are a few dogs named Krypto, but we assume this is a Superman reference.

This doesn't mean there aren't Bitcoins out there we just aren't aware of yet. For example, the Bay Area, home of Silicon Valley, does not have a publicly available dog name database. But for all we know, a little Bitcoin is being mined -- I mean, adopted -- from a shelter right now.

Seems pretty likely.

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