【Dear Utol (2025): Aswang Episode 30】

Writing your CV is Dear Utol (2025): Aswang Episode 30one of life's necessary -- but highly time-consuming -- evils. And, many of us take all the help we can get.

London-based author Aaron Gillies decided to let Google Autocomplete give him a hand in updating his CV. The results were both brutally honest and hilariously weird. Sorry Aaron, but we're not sure these skills are the right fit for any job.

Gillies listed his date of birth as "born to love you," a detail I'm not entirely sure any employer would be comfortable with.

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Gillies also noted that he is "good at nothing," a statement which -- though refreshingly honest -- isn't going to land him a job anywhere anytime soon.

His core competencies include his belief that "children are our future," and his experience includes once seeing an elephant and being "the chosen one".

"I am trained in gorilla warfare and I can prove it mathematically," reads Gillies' professional qualifications.

"Please hire me. I need money so I can purchase apps on my iPhone," Gillies continues.

You and me both, pal.

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