【1985 Archives】

My roughly 10-year-old cousin once wanted to take me985 Archivesin ping-pong, using the table in my basement. Sure, I said. I let him get up 11-1, because I'm much older than he is, and what the hell do I care?

But then he started talking shit. Like, a surprising, not-marginal amount of shit for a 10-year-old. So I beat him. I beat him 21-11. I scored 20 straight points. I probably said something I either don't remember or have blocked out of my mind because I didn't want to remember the taunts I hurled at a kid less than half my age.

Anyway, the takeaway here is that nothing good comes from getting shit-talked, as an adult, by a kid. As both I and Arkansas Sen. Tom Cotton now understand.

Cotton's situation, however: A bit different. He was in the middle of a town hall, getting yelled at by pretty much everyone, when a seven-year-old named Toby grabbed the crowd's attention.

"Donald Trump makes Mexicans not important to people who are in Arkansas who like Mexicans, like me," Toby said, to raucous applause.

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Cotton tried to get in a word at that point, but Toby wasn't done.

"And he's deleting all the parks and PBS Kids, just to make a wall," he continued. "He shouldn't do all that stuff."

Toby was perhaps referring to a potential White House plan to privatize the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, which encompasses PBS Kids. National parks will also be able to hire temporary employees to help campers in the summer despite a halt to federal government hiring.

Cotton was shouted down for much of his response, but he did manage to tell Toby that he believes America is "a melting pot."

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