While scared out of my mind in a nighttime showing of A Quiet Place,This Ain't Cops XXX (2010) I planned to demolish a giant bag of popcorn and down a vodka on the rocks to calm my nerves. Unfortunately, every time I tried to chew or drink, I made a noise so loud I feared I'd be kicked out of the theater or murdered by the sound-sensitive monsters on screen.
I knew A Quiet Placewould be quiet, as advertised, but I'd never experienced a film so quietthat the simple act of chewing became disruptive to a theater. For the first time in my life I went home with a full bag of popcorn and a burning desire to let John Krasinski know that I absolutely NEEDED to stress-eat during his film but couldn't.
Five months later, I got a chance to tell him.
In September 2018, Krasinski and Stephen Colbert were in conversation at New York's 92nd Street Y to chat about A Quiet Place.When the Q&A portion of the event began I stepped up to the mic and shared my very serious snacking dilemma. At first, Krasinski laughed, but it turns out I wasn't the only person to bring the issue to his attention.
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The actor revealed that after the first test screening for A Quiet Place he asked viewers if there was anything he should know about their viewing experience. "This guy raised his hand and it was shaking. He said, 'Yes, you shouldknow that I snuck in a bag of Skittles, and for 90 minutes I was like this,'" Krasinski said, pretending to slowly tear open a bag of candy.
"I knew that [lack of sound] would make people uncomfortable and make them feel something," he continued. "But I had no idea it would make this conversation about not being able to eat."
Well, John. It did! The struggle to snack during A Quiet Placewas real, so I can only assume the sequel will present some snacking challenges as well. The trailers for A Quiet Place Part II— which was set to hit theaters in March 2020 but was delayed as a result of the pandemic — hint at significantly more sound and dialogue, but we're not taking any chances this time around.
When A Quiet Place Part II finally hits theaters on May 28, 2021, we'll be prepared. When we make our triumphant return to theaters or watch these films at home in the future we won't be fools swallowing mouthfuls of soggy popcorn or struggling to open a bag of Skittles. We'll have some of the softest, most silent snacks imaginable on hand thanks to this helpful list of 42 A Quiet Place-friendly snack options.
Enjoy! And please, shut up!
The pillow of snack foods.
Quiet marshmallows. Credit: Carol Yepes / Getty Images Gummy anything, really! Bust out some Swedish Fish, Sour Patch Kids, or perhaps a Peach Ring or two hundred. Whatever you're feeling. Just make sure you open ALL NOISY PACKAGING BEFORE THE MOVIE STARTS. (Keep this in mind for every wrapped item here.)
Popcorn, as we've already identified, is an absolute NO in this movie. But plain popcorn butter? Drink that stuff up, baby.
Gum is too risky at a time like this, but if you're craving some minty freshness pop in a Listerine strip and let it dissolve. No chewing required.
Cake is soft, which means it's welcome in this theater, as are unwrapped Twinkies, Sno Balls, or any other little Hostess cakes.
A quiet Twinkie. Credit: Tim Boyle/ getty images If you're craving spaghetti during this movie you'll unfortunately have to cook the pasta ahead of time and drop the noodles directly into your mouth to eat them. Twisting spaghetti on a fork and slurping up the noodles can produce noise, which we simply cannot have it.
It sucks that you cant slurp your spaghetti, but on the bright side meatballs are relatively quiet and should be safe to eat in this thriller.
Whipped cream from a can is loud as hell, but if you buy a tub of fluffy Cool Whip to eat with a spoon you'll be golden.
I mean, yum. Right?
Mashable's Quiet Food of choice. Movies and mashed potatoes sound great, don't they? Popcorn who?
Quiet mashed potatoes. Credit: 4kodiak / Getty Images Sadly, any crunchy, cheesy snacks like Cheetos are off limits during A Quiet Placefilms. You can, however, collect a bunch cheese dust (aka Cheetle) ahead of time to enjoy during the movie.
If you can eat it shortly after wisdom tooth surgery, then it's probably fine for these movies.
No chips or veggies, though. Sorry.
Frosting out of the can is a brilliant snack. Don't @ me.
Cheese is our savior. It's soft, convenient, and delicious. There are so many options, but ideal theater snacks include string cheese or a Babybel of sorts.
Quiet cheese. Credit: Getty Images / iStockphoto No pits, no spits.
A sweet cushion of carbs. So many flavors.
Gluten orgluten free, so long as it's not crunchy.
Don't you dare bite a whole apple during this film.
Speaking of mushed apples, any pureed baby food will do. Also, I'm a baby when I watch scary movies, so this is a perfect snack.
Quiet baby food. Credit: Douglas Sacha / Getty Images Spoon peanut butter, almond butter, cashew butter, or whatever smooth jarred substance brings you joy out of the jar. (Don't forget a beverage to wash it down, though.)
Go-Gurt is also acceptable.
I don't know, maybe you're really into honey mustard or something.
If you can find a quiet vehicle for dip, go for it. Otherwise, spoon it is!
Pancakes are quiet, and these days they even have flapjacks in cups. A great source of protein!
Quiet pancakes. Credit: Keiko Iwabuchi / Getty Images What, if not this exact scenario, was Fruit by the Foot made for? (Warning: Unroll snack from paper ahead of time.)
They're still good.
Why not take this opportunity to simply pour some sugar into your mouth?
Or breadcrumbs! They're like savory Pixy Stix.
The official Quiet Food of Jim Halpert.
Quiet gelatin. Credit: Getty Images / iStockphoto The first three quarters of an Icee are perfectly acceptable, but the final quarter is sadly all slurp. You just can't do it.
Decadent!
Please keep in mind that not all of these quiet foods will smellgreat in a theater. Please be considerate when choosing!
If you can chug soup without making a peep, go right ahead.
Great option if you're at seeing the movie at dinnertime.
Quiet risotto. Credit: Paula Thomas / Getty Images You do you.
Or Starbucks Egg Bites, I guess.
Basically just smashed avocado. (See: baby food.)
Ice cream from the carton or a bowl is fine. You can also rest Dibs pieces in your mouth until they melt. I have tried.
Thick enough for a spoon or straw.
Quiet milkshake. Credit: Getty Images / Tetra images RF Lick only. Do. Not. Bite.
You can maybeget away with quietly eating a burger. But a hot dog? Not with those casings.
Listen, I know not all of these snacks are practical, and many can't easily be snuck into a movie theater, let alone obtained in one. But for the love of John Krasinski, I'm begging you not to eat loud snacks during this film. Learn from my mistakes. Let me help you.
Choose non-crunchy foods to eat, open any wrappers before the movie starts, and be mindful of the beverage level in your cup to avoid slurping. Following A Quiet Placeetiquette is crucial to an enjoyable movie-watching experience, and it's on us to plan ahead.
A Quiet Place Part II hits theaters on May 28.
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